There is beauty in being open to a new, positive future. I can create a new definition of myself, as I want it to be. I am not stuck with how I defined myself yesterday. Our self-definition is a mental construction, and like any construction, it can be remodeled.
There is the story of Steve Jobs, the creator of Apple. Steve Jobs was put up for adoption by his birth parents. When he found out about this at a young age, he felt totally worthless. He was sure he would never accomplish anything. He believed he was unwanted — even by his biological mother and father. Negative self-talk: “I am not worthy of others; I am just empty and unlovable.” But his adoptive parents explained to him that he was the most beautiful infant when they saw him in the hospital. He was the most valuable and important person in the world to them, and that was why they adopted him. In contrast, the positive self-talk: “Maybe I am lovable and capable and maybe I have some value as a person after all.”
After that conversation with his adoptive parents, Steve Jobs re-defined himself. For him, the self-definition was new, but he was the same young adult who had once had such a negative self-image. He had turned this image into a positive one. He had not changed, there were no new skills or talents bestowed on him by the couple who adopted him. It was like flipping a light switch, from dark to light. It was simply his mental construction of himself that changed – only the self-talk that was going on in his head.
Yesterday Does Not Define Us
For sure, our self-talk can be pessimistic like Steve Jobs’ was before the heart-to-heart with his parents. Or it can be as aspirational as his self-talk became after this talk with his parents. We are not defined by who we were in the past, or what we believed in the past. Instead, we can create our own self-definition, re-shape our identity and sharpen our ability to face daily challenges. We may be discouraged by failure and disappointment in the past. However, we do not have to be discouraged in the same way in the months and years ahead. Do not let yesterday define who you are today. Remember, the blank screen is in front of us. Read more about self-talk on the Living to 100 Club website.