Living longer means that physical decline will likely occur in our later years. This may show up in our vision or hearing, balance, or muscle strength. Possibly, it will show up in any number of chronic diseases. Caring for someone with dementia is also a possibility.
As we all get older, there is a possibility of dementia coming into the picture. In fact, you or someone you know may be providing care right now to a loved one with a dementing illness.
A report by the Mayo Clinic found that about 1 in 3 adults in the US provides care to other adults as informal caregivers. Of course, with caring for dementia comes the possibility of stress and burnout. I thought it would be helpful to take a closer look at preventing incidents that trigger caregiver frustration, anger, and burnout.
An ounce of prevention can be accomplished by individualizing the way we interact with the person needing care. Whether a spouse, sibling, or parent, individualized care requires a special level of two-way communication. It also takes a tolerance for differentness and for the unexpected. This means a few things. One, individualizing our approach to the unique needs of the care recipient. Two, focusing on listening more than advising. And three, collaboration on solutions and fixes.
In the long run, this individualized care will be more effective. It is also more respectful of the person we are helping.
Individualized Care Means Two-way Communication
The care recipient must have an opportunity to ask questions. It also helps if he is able to voice his concerns about what can be expected in the future. And, to have a say in what goals should be set in his care. One-way communication from the caregiver to the care recipient is unwelcome. It leaves much to be desired. Mom or dad will adapt much better to the changes he or she is facing when engaged in conversations about these changes.
Coping ability also improves when the care recipient has enough information to make informed decisions. And, when he is involved in the long term plan. Compliance will be superficial and temporary when we overlook the person’s involvement in his or her own care. And when we don’t take the time to really hear what he or she wants, we can expect a decline in functioning.
Individualized Care Means Understanding the Different Needs of Our Loved Ones
It is important to understand that anyone with mental or cognitive decline will eventually be different from what we are used to. He will express different needs and wants, or at least different from what we think the person can manage. This may be in different foods, or activities. Or the clothes he wants to wear.
Making arrangements for mom to visit friends or continue in her weekly swimming classes may be difficult. But it may bring a little respite for her too, and pleasure. Signing up your husband who has early Alzheimer’s disease for harmonica lessons offers the same benefits. And it is an activity that is very plausible for certain dementias.
The caregiver who meets and even welcomes these requests shows tolerance for the unexpected. It also shows respect for the person’s remaining reasoning ability. Even if it is a little different from what we are used to.
Yes, we must be aware of the possible risks that come with meeting every unusual request. But we also know that compromises and alternatives are always available. Once precautions are in place, allowing the person with some mental decline to stay involved in decisions and in desired activities fosters a sense of purpose and meaning. And it keeps the fire burning.
There are many approaches that are effective in caring for the person with dementia, early, middle, and late stages. If you would like more information in these approaches, please send a comment attached to this posting. In addition, you may want to discuss this in more depth, and options are available for this.
Dr. Joe Casciani is the owner and Chief Curator for the Living to 100 Club, a source of solutions to living longer and healthier, with a special focus on mindset and attitudes about aging. He has a 40-year history as a psychologist and manager of mental health practices specializing in behavioral health services with older adults. In addition to his work as a clinical consultant, he is an engaging and inspiring speaker, and helps audiences move beyond their questions and concerns about aging to create a vision of what is possible in the years ahead. He strongly believes there is value in helping people feel inspired about their future.
