Successful Aging: Here are Some Strategies
Joseph M. Casciani, PhD
These days, we have many strategies on successful aging, from diet and fitness to social engagement and healthy lifestyle practices. Following these recommendations can lead to longer, healthier years ahead. But we also know that it’s not a smooth road ahead for everyone. What happens when we hit an obstacle, like a serious medical diagnosis, loss of a close loved one, or giving up the car keys? Any number of undesirable events may come along. Even following the healthiest lifestyle possible, there are likely still challenges ahead. How we face these challenges is often determined by our attitude and future outlook.
Many Living to 100 Club members have seen the document, 9 Tips to Make Living Longer Enjoyable, on the Club website. For those who have not seen these, or for a quick review if you have, the 9 Tips describe ways to manage these setbacks and bumps that come along. Here are two of the nine tips:
For Successful Aging, Learn to Embrace Change
You know the old saying, the only thing that’s certain is change. Yet, even in our second half of life or later, it can be hard to accept; especially when we don’t instigate the change. Over the years we’ve survived many events that signal a new chapter in our lives. Graduation, marriage, the birth of children, promotions, retirement, death of a spouse, and illness. Just to name a few of the big ones.
These milestones serve as chapters in our life story. With each new milestone, we must look at starting a new chapter, whether intended or not, whether pleasant or not, and whether liberating or not. Situations like downsizing to a smaller home, a divorce, giving up the car keys, or having a stroke or heart attack. Some experience the death of a spouse, requiring us to start a new chapter in our story.
How do you go on after losing our spouse of 25, 30, or even 55 years? For some if will feel too painful to go on, and too dark to face the future alone. Yes, you must take time to grieve and mourn. When the time is right, you start a new chapter as someone who took an unexpected sharp turn and survived to live longer. And we stay positive even in the face of challenge and loss.
The same process applies to someone whose stroke left him unable to use his left arm and leg. The task is to redefine himself as someone whose body is not cooperating but whose mind, or consciousness if you will, is just as strong and vibrant as ever. In that light he is still able to have a fulfilling life. Redefining and adapting are essential keys.
The beauty is that we write the script. We take on a new role in this next act and create the character we want to play. This is our script, and we can write what we want.
Control Your Thoughts and Feelings
The Roman philosopher, Epictetus, said, “We are disturbed not by events, but by the views we take of these events.”
I’m not telling you anything you don’t already know, but I’ll say it anyway; there are things we cannot control: the weather, when the sun sets, or other people. (The sooner you master this one the better every relationship gets.) In large part, we can’t control climate change or whether politicians reach across the aisle. Hans Selye, the godfather of stress theory, worded it this way: It’s not what happens to us that matters, it’s how we react to it.
It’s pointless spending any mental energy on things outside of our control.
There is one area of life that we have complete control over: our thoughts. And our thoughts determine our values and principles, and the goals we set. This is where we should be spending our precious mental energy. Our thoughts and our dreams. One part of brains is a danger detector which leads us to have thousands of negative thoughts per day. But we are not at the mercy of this old part of our brain. We get to smile when it’s all going south or frown and dissolve into a mess of stress.
Speaking of smiles, smiling can lead to a longer life. A study of professional baseball players who began their careers before 1950, found that, after rating the intensity of players’ smiles in a sample of 230 photos, those with bigger smiles in their photos lived an average of 7 years longer than those with no smiles (life span may be as wide as your smile). Be aware of your thoughts and feeling, those things that you can control, and let go of worry or stressing over those things you can’t.
Pick your battles. Spend your energy where you can shape and influence the outcome. There will always be negative, unpleasant events, some totally out of your control. And discerning between what we can control from what we can’t is a success strategy.
Closing
With these ideas and others in hand, maybe we can look forward to getting older, no matter what gets in the way. We can feel energized, uplifted, and excited about our future. We can be better at successful aging, especially with new solutions at our fingertips.
Feel free to visit the Living to 100 Club website and download the entire document and sign up for our email list to receive weekly announcements about our latest podcast, as well as Monthly Newsletters, and other Club developments.
Dr. Joe Casciani is the owner and Chief Curator for the Living to 100 Club, a source of solutions to living longer and healthier, with a special focus on mindset and attitudes about aging. He has a 40-year history as a psychologist and manager of mental health practices specializing in behavioral health services with older adults. In addition to his work as a clinical consultant, he is an engaging and inspiring speaker, and helps audiences move beyond their questions and concerns about aging to create a vision of what is possible in the years ahead. He strongly believes there is value in helping people feel inspired about their future.
