Find the Good Stuff, the Things that Go Right
Depression is common. It affects people differently, and depression affects us in many ways. We can say that depression affects our mood, our appetite, our decision making and concentration, and our sleep. One thing that depression does very well is narrow our perspective. When someone is depressed, all he sees are the wrongs, the failures, and the disappointments. The losses that occur. It can be like wearing blinkers. Horses wear blinkers so they are not distracted from what’s going on to the right and left. A good thing for horses. As for us, though, our blinkers limit us from seeing the whole picture. This is sometimes like tunnel vision – all we see is the negative in front of us. We don’t see any positives, almost like a filter that only lets in the bad and screens out the good. Removing these blinkers is one way of lifting depression.
Look for Exceptions
To remove the blinkers, one approach is to find an exception to all that is wrong. Find even one exception to all the bad you see – the one thing – that is positive or has gone right. If you are feeling that
- all of my friends are leaving me
- my children can’t do anything right
- nothing tastes good to me anymore
- not driving anymore is the end of my world
- there’s nothing good about this new place I moved to.
Can you find an exception to all that’s going wrong? Is there one meal that you look forward to, or one positive thing an adult son did, or one good thing about no longer driving?
Once you’ve got the exception, you’ve got something to build on. The exceptions that can be identified can lead the way to a change in our perception. They aid in removing the negative filters so we can see a more complete picture. This can help from falling deeper into depression.
Resist That Backward Pull
Depression can feel like a vacuum, pulling us down into a deep hole of darkness, and no matter how hard we try to hold on, we fall back into the same hole. Resisting that backward pull takes a conscious decision and looking for the positives that lie ahead. They are there, waiting to be seen. Just like we know there is a blue sky behind the clouds, we look for that bit of blue sky behind dark clouds. This can pull you forward and make all the difference.
Closing
It should be noted that the cognitive-behavioral strategy described in this blog is one of many explanations of depression and is not intended as the only or best treatment approach for lifting depression. However, it does offer one explanation that is very helpful when faced with the myriad losses and physical, personal and psychological changes that come with advancing years. Successful aging is, after all, about attitude, adapting, and staying positive even when things get in the way. For information on lifting depression, visit these resources on the Living to 100 Club website.
Dr. Joe Casciani is the owner and Chief Curator for the Living to 100 Club, a source of solutions to living longer and healthier, with a special focus on mindset and attitudes about aging. He has a 40-year history as a psychologist and manager of mental health practices specializing in behavioral health services with older adults. In addition to his work as a clinical consultant, he is an engaging and inspiring speaker, and helps audiences move beyond their questions and concerns about aging to create a vision of what is possible in the years ahead. He strongly believes there is value in helping people feel inspired about their future.
