There are many factors to consider when trying to understand a resident’s reluctance to engage in community activities. This article presents many reasons why residents may isolate in their community settings. Some reasons may relate to the feelings of loss of the former residence and friendships, while others may relate to the person’s own personal style to connect socially with others. Here are some possible reasons:
- Adjusting to a new environment. Transitioning from a home or apartment where the person may have lived for decades can be stressful. Going from the familiar to the unfamiliar setting is emotionally taxing.
- Facing strangers. Not everyone is socially outgoing and gregarious. Reaching out and making new friends takes time for many people, and fitting in with established groups may be daunting for many.
Just Missing Home
- Missing the comforts of home. Personal furnishings and belongings may be absent, maybe something like treasured cuckoo clock, can trigger sadness and regret about giving up the personal favorites. Of course, many of these belongings can be brought in but not always. Separation from these familiarities only intensifies the stresses of the move.
- Nostalgia for the past. As good as the new living setting may be, often much better than the old residence, there is a clinging to the past. There is a longing for the setting where all the memories took place. The different rooms, where the children were raised, holidays took place, and beloved meals, hold special memories. Outdoors, for the parties and barbeques, and the neighbors, for the support and friendship, and all of the other remembrances.
- Personal limitations. The usual surroundings of one’s home had adjustments and “soft touches” that are likely not available in the new setting. Furniture and TV placement, sound systems, pantry and storage areas, all add to more losses that accompany the move. This presents a real reason why residents isolate.
Personal and Social Challenges
- Psychological stresses. There’s a term that psychologists use, “little deaths” that refer to the grieving that comes with a personal hit or blow. These are sometimes big and sometimes small but carry with it the sensation that is not unlike a real death. Things like being forced to give up an important project, or a pet, or the disappointment of losing a workshop in the home, can be more overwhelming than they appear on the surface. Depression and other psychological disorders are in the clinical picture for many, which takes a very individualized approach. These present more reasons why residents isolate.
- Embarrassment in social settings. A case can be made that many older adults are accustomed to being alone for certain daily routines, like meals. Manner and style of dress, and possible feelings of inadequacy or poor body image are examples. A condition like incontinence can be a physical barrier to participation for many. These can easily outweigh the advantages of being part of the group for meals and activities.
Communication Difficulties
- Communicating with others. Besides the unfamiliarity of the new living setting and other residents, there may be communication problems related to hearing or vision loss. These may tax the person and often leads to declining invitations to join in. Mild cognitive impairment, or other mental problems may be in the picture, which further complicates social connections.
- Disconnected from usual means of interacting. Many older adults are not computer-literate, and can’t use email, or texts, or instant messaging like others can. This creates another barrier to building new relationships. Fortunately, this is surmountable though in most cases.
- Fear of social interactions — Anxiety and distress about relating with other residents will often interfere with social interactions and engagement. Fear of not being accepted can be a huge roadblock, and often contributes to social isolation.
These barriers are important to recognize as to why residents isolate. These should be considered when encouraging reluctant residents to leave their units and join the group activity. Of course, there are other extrinsic barriers that block community participation, such as illness or mobility. Other blogs in this series will address these barriers and approaches to help manage and ideally, move past them.
This article is referenced in the new Living to 100 Club publication: Better, Longer & Happier: A Guide to Aging with Purpose and Positivity
