by Kent Elliot
If you’re anything like me, you probably spent the better part of the last two decades juggling drop-offs, practices, dentist appointments, grocery runs, and those late-night talks where your kid suddenly opens up just as you were about to collapse into bed. And then one day, the house gets quiet. Really quiet. You wander past the closed bedroom door that used to be flung open, music pulsing through the walls, and it hits you: they’re gone. Not gone-gone, but launched. And while that’s exactly what you worked so hard for—it still stings. This new chapter can feel sad or also surprisingly liberating. The empty nest. There’s a strange kind of grief, but there’s also space. The question becomes: What do you do with all of it?
Reclaim the Calendar (But Don’t Cram It)
Now that you’re not scheduling life around your kid’s calendar, yours is wide open—or at least, it probably feels that way. It’s tempting to fill it right back up: book clubs, volunteer work, dinner dates, yoga, more yoga. But there’s something to be said for resisting the urge to overschedule. Instead, let the space teach you something. What do you actually want to do with your time, not just what sounds good in a group chat?
Building Something That’s Yours
Starting your own business can feel like standing at the edge of a cliff with both fear and excitement swirling in your chest. The process begins with clarity—knowing what you want to offer, who it’s for, and why it matters—followed by steps like registering your business name, choosing the right legal structure, and setting up your finances. You’ll need to navigate licensing, build a web presence, and map out how you’ll reach and retain customers. That’s where a service like ZenBusiness can come in handy, offering an all-in-one platform to help you form an LLC, stay compliant, launch a website, and manage the money side of things without losing your mind.
Relearn How to Be Alone (And Actually Like It)
For years, you’ve likely had very little solitude that wasn’t functional. Alone to do laundry. Also alone in the carpool line. And alone while making everyone’s dentist appointments. But being alone without a job to do—that’s different. That’s where rediscovery happens. Read a novel in the morning. Sit with your coffee without looking at your phone. Remember what it’s like to be in your own company, and maybe even enjoy it.
Invest in Friendships That Stretch You
Empty nesting can reveal that many of your friendships were rooted in convenience or shared kid activities. That doesn’t make them any less valuable, but it might mean some of them fade. And that’s okay. What this time offers is the chance to invest in people who energize you, challenge you, make you laugh until your ribs hurt. Seek out friends who don’t just remind you of who you were, but who reflect who you’re becoming.
Try Something Badly (On Purpose)
According to From Roses, one of the joys of midlife is the permission to do things terribly without shame. Start painting even if your apples look like tomatoes. Take up hiking even if you hate bugs. Write poetry no one will read. You’ve spent years mastering things—parenting, work, home management. This phase is less about mastery and more about curiosity. Chase what feels light and playful, not just what feels productive.
Redefine Rest (It’s Not Just Sleeping In)
Rest isn’t just about getting more sleep—though that’s a start. It’s about unlearning the guilt that comes with slowing down. You’re allowed to take a nap in the middle of the day, to watch a show with no “value,” to spend a whole Saturday doing absolutely nothing. Resting doesn’t make you lazy—it makes you whole. The empty nest is a great excuse to make peace with stillness.
Explore the Edges of Your Relationship (If You’re in One)
Whether you’ve been married 30 years or living with a partner for 5, the departure of your kids shifts everything. You’re not just co-parents now—you’re two people in a home together again. What is life after children like? Some couples rediscover their spark, while others feel like they’re staring at a polite stranger across the dinner table. Don’t panic. This is fertile ground for reconnection, reinvention, or even renegotiation. Talk honestly. Try new things together. Get curious about who you both are now.
Here’s the thing that sneaks up on you: when your kids go off to start their adult lives, they don’t take your identity with them. They just leave a little more room for you to breathe. Yes, the silence can be deafening at first, but in that quiet, there’s an invitation. A blank page. A slower rhythm. You’re not done growing, not by a long shot. You are aging well. This phase isn’t about loss—it’s about possibility. And maybe, just maybe, it’s about joy that’s finally just yours.
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Post-Script from Dr. Joe Casciani
Many thanks to Kent Elliot for another thoughtful contribution. Kent is the owner of At Home Aging. Info. The transition to an “empty nest” can be both challenging and freeing—a perfect time to refocus on purpose, explore new opportunities, and embrace growth in this next chapter. These ideas are central to our mission at the Living to 100 Club. Whether through our Better, Longer & Happier card decks, our podcast conversations, or the interactive Living to 100 Community, we’re here to support the journey toward aging well—with meaning, engagement, and optimism.
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